just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I smell stomach acid.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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