He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
