Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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