I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
