I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
