New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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