if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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