I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
