ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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