dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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