it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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