Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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