Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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