is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
