I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
