i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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