At least make sure they are 18
Why
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
