Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize