Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
