I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need water and some morals
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
