wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
