true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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