Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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