If that was your dad, he is hot
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
