It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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