i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
