I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
