and you said cock pushups were impossible
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Holy shit dude........stairs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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