Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
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I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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