Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize