she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
