Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
