So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You're like the curious george of whores
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
