i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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