he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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