if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I will be naked everywhere
Enjoy the penises
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
