Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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