she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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