Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
lol hangovers are for mortals.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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