hell yes lets make some ravioli
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
