so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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