Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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