dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
