not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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