Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
