alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
