i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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