You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
