Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
