I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
