She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
