it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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