he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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