listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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