Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
