Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
where does the pee come out of this thing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
