So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
