there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
