I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
