And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
