You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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