if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's official drugs can't kill me
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
