Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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