there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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