he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
