I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
